Episode 252: How to release self-criticism so you can actually lose weight with body love coach Sarah Haas
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You know that sinking feeling of disappointment or even disgust that you get when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and wishing you were thinner? Well, that feeling is actually wrecking your metabolism. My guest today is Sarah Haas, host of the Boss Body podcast. She’s here to share her story of how after years of being thin and fit and looking like she had it all together,
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She found herself as a single mother, dealing not only with her young son’s type 1 diabetes, but also breast cancer, which included radiation, chemo, and a double mastectomy. She learned that loving your body is not about loving how you look. It’s releasing the emotional heaviness that is figuratively and literally weighing you down.
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We’re gonna get real and talk about why loving yourself feels so impossible when you’ve let yourself go for whatever reason. And also why treating your body with kindness and respect and compassion is the first step to getting yourself back. You’ll walk away with a clear understanding as to how to use your excess weight as a catalyst to deeper self-worth and vibrant health. So no matter where you’re at on your weight loss journey,
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or even if you just want to feel more comfortable in your own skin, keep listening to hear the practical steps as well as the mindset shifts that will take you to the next level.
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My name is Colleen and I’m a mindful drinking coach helping high achieving professional women permanently reduce their alcohol consumption by 80%. Join me each week for evidence-based holistic strategies to regulate your nervous system, balance your dopamine, and activate the growth mindset that makes you so powerful in other areas of your life so you can stop worrying about losing control and trust yourself again. Get happy, not sober. It’s not about the alcohol.
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Sarah, I’m so excited to have you on the show. Would you do the honors and introduce yourself to the audience? Tell us who you are, what you do, and why you do it. Absolutely, Colleen. Thank you so much for having me. So as you said, I’m Sarah Haas. I’m a women’s weight release and body love coach. And I mostly work with women who are in that perimenopause, midlife, menopause, postmenopause.
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era of their lives when things are changing, they’re feeling different about their bodies, hormones are happening, and also life shifts are happening, and there’s stress, and they want to feel good. They want to feel good in their bodies. They want to feel good emotionally and spiritually, and they want to navigate this time with ease and be able to do whatever they want to do for decades to come.
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I’m an integrative nutrition health coach and I’m also a certified personal trainer and a yoga instructor. Obviously, I work a lot with women on their nutrition and those kind of things, but those are very baseline. Those are sort of the entry point because there’s so many reasons that we don’t take care of our health or that we neglect ourselves.
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And until you start to address those and sort of peel back the layers of what’s really going on beneath, we repeat these patterns and it’s, you’ll see it manifest as losing and gaining, losing and gaining, and then women blame themselves and then they feel bad about themselves and they feel ashamed and they think they don’t have willpower. And I really like to
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help create mindset shifts to show them, here’s what’s really going on. Here’s how worthy and incredible and amazing you really are. So there’s a lot more that goes on behind the scenes versus here’s your diet, here’s your exercise program, because we could get that anywhere, right? We could get that for free. Yeah. Well, talking through your journey,
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of how you arrived here. know with coaching, most of us are drawn to the mountain that we had to climb. And honestly, when you’re looking for a coach, you should work with somebody who has been where you are. So maybe talk a little bit about what brought you here. Absolutely. Yeah. So I’m a single mom. have two kids. One’s a teenager. One just passed through that teenage phase. I’m an empty nester.
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But before, when my kids were little, when my son was six, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes. And I know a lot of people get the two confused with type one and type two, but type one, they call it juvenile diabetes because it comes on young, at a young age. And also it’s not lifestyle related. There’s nothing, it’s not about what you eat or how you take care of your body. At that point, they really don’t even know what causes it.
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And also there’s no cure. can’t make it better. You can’t get rid of it. It’s just something to be managed. And the good news is it is manageable if you take care of your body, if you take care of your health. So I go into mama bear mode immediately. I threw myself into learning anything and everything I could about taking care of your health. went to
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symposiums and conferences and read books, did all the things. And in doing so, I realized that it really doesn’t have to be that complicated. You’re not going to tell a six-year-old, you can never have a cupcake at a birthday party, right? And so we just started making these little shifts and we did it as a family because you’re not going to single out one child.
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And in doing so, I learned a lot about myself because I started having better energy. I released about 15 pounds. I was sleeping better. My mood was better. I felt better every day and I got more active and I got stronger. And I was getting a lot of questions from women. How are you doing this? Like what do you feed your kids? What do you eat? How much do you exercise?
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And I was in a totally different career at that point. And I decided, you know what? This is my calling. Cause this is my passion. So I always had kind of a side hustle of teaching fitness classes, but I was ready to throw myself all in. So I went back to school, became an integrative nutrition health coach. And that’s what brought me into this field. Fast forward about 10 years.
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in 2019, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So it was a stage two, very aggressive. I had to have all the treatments. had 20 rounds of chemotherapy, 25 rounds of radiation, and a double mastectomy with three follow-up surgeries. So I really took a hit.
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It was kind of leveling myself back to ground zero because I was doing all the things. I was walking my talk. I was eating well, exercising. I was so strong. I felt so good. felt like I was in my mid to I was 47. I felt like I was really at my peak. And then this came and it just threw me for a loop.
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The body love portion of what I teach women now grew from that in a big way because I look at things like before breast cancer, after breast cancer, and I consider myself Sarah 2.0. I’m five years out, by the way, completely cancer-free, and I’ve also rebuilt my health. I’m back to feeling awesome and being able to do all the things.
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But there was a real shift mentally that happened over that period of time because pre-cancer, was very punishing in my mind to myself. I never felt good enough. I compared myself. I pushed myself too hard. I was overachiever type A, know, couldn’t miss a day in the gym, that kind of thing. And never felt like
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I looked physically good enough. Plus, I’m in this fitness wellness space where you see all these people on Instagram and these movie stars and you’re always comparing yourself. I always felt like I fell short. Throughout these treatments, I lost my hair, I lost my breasts. I had them reconstructed, but there are all kinds of scars. I had to have muscle and skin grafts from my back.
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scars on the back, on the front. I went through menopause because of this. I put on a few pounds and I also lost all my muscle tone, my fitness. And so I had to really change the way I was thinking and it didn’t happen on purpose. It didn’t happen consciously, but I began to appreciate my body because I was able to heal.
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I was able to withstand all of those treatments. And I started thinking of my body not as an object, not as this is just how you look, as who you are, but think about how amazing and resilient your body is and how it carries you through every day. It takes you where you want to go. It takes neglect. It takes abuse.
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and it still keeps working hard for you. And it really changed my whole view of myself. And now I can step back and look and say, okay, objectively, you’ve aged, you’ve gone through menopause, you’ve got wrinkles, stretch marks, your body shifts, your body changes, but I love it more than I ever have.
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And that’s how I want women to be able to see their own bodies. Your C-section scar is you giving life to your children. Your wrinkles are your wisdom and the years that you’ve had the privilege of living on this earth. What does it take to shift to that? You know, it sounds like you went through it a little unconsciously.
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But obviously now you have to be able to articulate it. What has changed in your relationship with your body? Well, first of all, I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through what I did to come to this point. And that’s why I teach what I teach. And I think a, when people hear body love, it sounds
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so inaccessible because let’s face it, we’ve hated on our bodies our whole life since we were teenagers or before. And so just saying, oh, I should love my body. I mean, that’s not really gonna, you’re not gonna be able to just go from zero to a hundred in one step. So I like to focus on body respect because it starts with
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appreciating your body for all it does and treating it with dignity, with kindness, treating it as you would someone you love because that’s how body love cultivates. And in order to do that, you have to listen to it and honor its needs. And you start realizing that my body is worthy of love and care and nourishment.
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regardless of where I am on this journey, regardless of the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. So that’s where I like to start is what is it that you aren’t doing for your body that you would do for someone you love? And that would be nourishment, know, beautiful, fresh, whole foods. It would be self-care.
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downtime, resting, listening when your body is tired, listening when it’s thirsty, listening when it’s hungry, listen when it’s full.
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and then starting to reverse that mean inner critic that just keeps beating you up. Yeah. So talk to me about the relationship between the inner critic and even just say holding onto weight. You I noticed you phrase it as releasing weight. Can you talk about, for somebody that’s listening,
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The importance of being nice to yourself. I think most of us think we will be nice to ourselves when, after, and if we are able to meet whatever conditions we have placed on our goals, our beauty, our bodies. But what really has to change first in order to ever manifest something different on the outside? Yeah.
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It’s all about what’s going on in the inside because when you release that emotional weight, you will start to release the physical weight. So the inner critic, we all have it. You know, it’s just constantly beating us up when you put your clothes on in the morning, you’re like, Oh, I look bad in this. You know, this doesn’t fit right. I’m too fat, you know, whatever. And we think that the inner critic is motivating us. We think it is keeping us accountable.
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We think, if I don’t talk to myself this way, I’ll just let everything go. I’ll let everything slide. It’s all going to just come crumbling down. Yeah. And in reality, most women don’t thrive under that environment. It’s like a coach that just berates you. So you’re not going to get better at a sport with someone.
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constantly telling you, you messed up, you’re terrible, you suck at this, and you’re not going to get better grades if your parents or your teachers say, oh, you’re so dumb. I don’t understand why you’re not getting this. And that’s what we’re doing. It’s like we have an abusive relationship with ourselves. And yet we go back to it because we think that’s the only way that’s going to move us forward. Well, we also think we’re just telling ourselves the truth.
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We do. Is that your fat, ugly, stupid and gross and lazy. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Absolutely. And the first thing is realizing that that isn’t your truth and it also is not your voice. You have picked up all of these things that you feel like are facts over your lifetime.
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from parents, from teachers, from peers, from intimate, know, romantic relationships, from jobs, bosses, society in general. we, every negative thing we hear gets blown up and gets saved in our memories. And the positive things, you just brush by it quickly.
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You know, someone gives you a compliment, you’re like, oh, thanks. And in your head, you’re just kind of thinking, eh, you know, well, whatever, that’s not true. So we don’t collect these good feelings about ourselves. We collect the negative ones and they get louder and louder and louder. And pretty soon it’s like a mantra. It’s like, whatever you repeat over and over and over again is what you believe to be true.
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And it’s sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s keeping you stuck because I saw a sign one time that said, floggings will continue until morale improves. And so we want to be motivated. We want to have energy. We want to be excited about a wellness plan or fitness plan or, or, or whatever.
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Yet every day we wake up and tell ourselves, you can’t do this. You’re a failure. You’ve tried again. You’re you’ve tried before. You’re just going to fail again. Why are you even doing this? And that’s your mantra. And that’s the way it’s going to go. And so the the way to start shifting is honestly hearing those thoughts, hearing them and what they’re saying and then saying, wait, whose voice is that?
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So like when I work with a client and they say, oh, I’m just fat and disgusting, I’ll be like, well, whose voice is that? And at first they’ll always say it’s mine. It’s my voice. And I’ll say, well, really like where did this idea about weight come from? Where did this idea about if you’re not a certain weight, you’re not worthy or lovable. And they’ll start thinking back and go, oh yeah.
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Um, my dad used to comment on other women’s bodies. See, it’s always, it’s not always overt. It’s not always someone specifically saying to you, you don’t look good or you’re ugly. My dad used to comment on women’s bodies and put down the ones who he considered unworthy because they were overweight. Or I had a boyfriend who constantly said,
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you’re lucky to have me, know, if we break up, you’re never going to find someone. So when you start looking back over time and then, you know, there’s Instagram, there’s when I was a teenager, there was 17 magazine and you look at it and you think, oh, you know, look at them. They’re the ones that are, that made it into like, I always remember if someone gave me a compliment and said, oh, you’re so pretty in my head, I would think if I wanted to be a model and I went to
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apply. Here’s all the horrible things they would see and they would say, you’re definitely not good enough to be a model. And so we have to start realizing where that voice comes from and then to answer with the actual truth.
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And that comes from...
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I like to change the perspective. So when I say, okay, how can you answer that with the truth? Women will say, I have no idea. What’s the truth? And I had a client one time. She was a mom, a new mom. She had about a six or eight month old little girl. And she was working with me to start.
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getting onto a better schedule, getting back to working out, start meal prepping instead of eating out. She said every meal was door dash and she’d been doing great. She had released some weight. She was getting stronger. She was really working hard and being consistent. When I talked to her, I said, well, how are you feeling? She’s like, not great. She said, I still just feel like I’m fat and disgusting.
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And I was like, all right, so if your daughter said that to you, if she had been just had a baby and she was trying really hard and she wasn’t where she wanted to be yet. And she said, I’m fat and disgusting. What would you say to her? And she immediately started crying, like the tears. She was like, I would never want her to say that.
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I would tell her that she is perfect. She was born perfect and she’s working hard and she just had a baby and give yourself some grace, show yourself some compassion. I was like, right, now turn that around. Now say that in I form. I am working really hard. I am amazing. I am
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whatever, whatever, because that’s how you get to the truth. Because it’s really hard to say it to ourselves when we don’t believe it. But if you think about how would I say this to someone I love? How would I say this to someone that I cherish and I respect? What would I say? And then you can flip that around because that’s the actual truth. Yeah. So talk to me about emotional weight and
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how, how we have to understand that our physical bodies are manifestations of our mental reality. so it sounds like what we get wrong is that the, think the first step is to lose the weight and then we’ll feel better. And the challenge is how do we feel better?
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before we even start trying to lose the weight. Like talk to me about what emotional weight is.
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Yeah. So emotional weight is whatever is weighing you down emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It’s this weight we carry on our shoulders of thinking we have to be perfect, of thinking we have to do it all. We have to be super mom. We have to be successful in our careers. We have to look good doing it. We have to have a smile on our face. We have to say yes to everything. We have to please everyone.
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that’s emotional weight and also the inner critic that we talked about that’s constantly carrying around all of these burdens. And when you are carrying all this emotional weight, you’re going to throw your health under the bus. You cannot be everything to everyone and still have time, energy,
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motivation, excitement to take care of yourself. You just won’t do it. It’s about putting yourself last on the list. And that goes back to our own self-worth. That’s always the root. So instead of thinking of the weight as the problem, the weight is a symptom. If you’re carrying extra weight, you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve.
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And it’s not always weight. It can manifest in a lot of different ways. It can be drinking too much alcohol. It can be workaholic. It can be shopping on Amazon and buying way more than you can afford. We deal with things in different ways, but many, many, many women deal with it by eating because we want to feel better and eating gives you an emotional boost.
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It calms you down. It comforts you. It helps fill you up. It helps you avoid difficult, uncomfortable feelings. And so if you just tell yourself, I’m not going to eat the cookie, you know, I’m going to go to the gym today. That’s trying to treat the symptom, not the cause. And the cause is the emotional weight. It’s feeling ashamed, feeling
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critical of yourself, feeling not good enough. And so it takes a little bit of self-discovery and some mindset shifts to release that so that then you can make yourself a priority. You can give yourself self-care. You have more energy. You have more time to build these healthy habits. And then once you take care of the root, the symptom dissipates. Yeah.
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Yeah. So what does that look like in a big overwhelming, I’ve got 50 pounds to release and I have no time to do that. hear a lot of, I say the same thing, you have to make time for yourself. So one of the first mindset shifts that we work on in our program is this concept of I have no time because like anything else, you are manifesting a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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you actually have as much time as everybody else, it’s where are you gonna make time? I think that’s one of the most, one of the most hiding in plain sight, limiting beliefs that people don’t think it’s, don’t feel bad about myself, I’m just telling you the truth. I got no time and I’m completely overwhelmed. And so before we can even begin to change our relationship with ourselves, we have to change our relationship with time. So what do you see as a,
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I don’t know, first steps in this to be able to make time for something that feels like the reason you’re overweight is because you don’t have time. Yeah. Yeah. And like you said, we all have the same amount of time in a day. Women take on a lot of the burdens. All the studies show that we, I think it’s an average of two hours. We do two more hours a day of
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child rearing, household chores, cooking, errands, all of those things. that’s two hours a day that it comes from, if you don’t feel like you’re worthy, you’re not going to make yourself a priority. And making yourself a priority looks like saying no, setting boundaries.
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standing up for yourself and this goes for at work as well as at home. We’ve been trained to be the caregivers. We’ve been trained to be the nurturers. We’ve been trained to please everybody, to say yes, to smooth things over, to not ruffle feathers, not rock the boat. And then we carry this through our daily lives in every situation.
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whether it’s friends asking for a favor when you were gonna do a workout, but you feel bad, it’s a guilt. We feel guilty for saying no. And it is learning how to not feel bad for making yourself a priority. The time is there. It’s a matter of where on the list is it gonna be? Because if you have an already
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Endless to-do list, which we all do, right? We all do. You never get it all done. There’s always something else. But if, if we’re at the bottom of the list, we just keep getting pushed till I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it next week. I’ll start, you know, when, when school gets back in, I’ll start in January. And we think we’re just going to add this to our list when really the list has to get pared down.
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in order to be able to put ourselves in there. And that’s a process, doesn’t just happen, but it looks like asking for help. It looks like saying no. It looks like delegating. It looks like maybe hiring for something, cleaning your house or mowing your lawn or whatever it is. It’s, okay, I need two hours a day. I want to be able to
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eat a healthy meal and I want to be able to exercise. Where can I get these two hours? What am I doing that someone else could be doing? My kids, my spouse, my partner, whatever, at work. When I’m coming home frazzled and exhausted every day, am I taking on extra projects that someone else should be doing? Am I saying yes to things that really aren’t even in my job description or am I
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being too much of a perfectionist and I overdo everything because I’m trying to please people. So like you said, it’s changing your relationship with time, but it’s really changing that mindset of I have to do everything for everyone else and I’m last on the list. Yeah. It’s kind of like the financial mindset shifts you have to make of like paying yourself first.
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or taking the money and removing it from circulation because if you don’t make yourself your first priority, which I know for myself, I was like, that’s not even one of the options. I had four kids and three step kids. The thought that I would have the right or even the option to put myself first, and I had plenty of time to drink, so it was fine. It’s fine. But I think just...
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Like what if, what would change in your life if you prior prioritized yourself as number one, which probably feels scary, but like what would change? Yeah. And you don’t have to prioritize yourself as number one because when you have kids, especially when they’re little, obviously they’re going to be, obviously they’re going to be number one.
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But that’s a season. So many of us are these helicopter parents. I was, I definitely was. And it’s happening now when the kids are even teenagers and when they’re in college, we’re still doing all these things, making their doctor’s appointments and cooking for them. I a school complex and every morning the traffic backed all the way up.
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to drop kids off. And I live in a beautiful residential area and there’s buses. And I’m like, what are these people doing? Like put your, they don’t want to put the kid doesn’t want to ride the bus. I remember my kid just didn’t want to ride the bus either. I’m like, well, I guess you can walk. Like I, and I can remember like with other moms that were always at like the dance rehearsal and sit there and watch or, you know, be there, be in the water boy. It’s like, who’s making dinner right now? You know? Absolutely.
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The expectations are already so heavy that are put on us. I learned that I had, luckily I had seven kids, seven teenagers between like seventh grade and senior year. I didn’t have the option that no, it’s actually nice because it was like, I had seven balls and other people had like one or two. And like what I couldn’t do all of it. So I started opting out, you know, I’m like, no, I’m not working the concession stand. I didn’t join band. That’s not my thing. And I’m not spending my evening doing that.
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But I did not win for most popular room mother either. The other mothers judged me very harshly because I was not carrying my weight. I mean, I wasn’t carrying, I was like, is not sustainable. Yeah. And that’s their issue. It’s not yours. Right. That’s coming from their own lack of self-worth and they’re trying to
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get that self-worth by being the best room mom, by bringing the most elaborate snack or whatever that you could possibly bring in by cooking for the whole class or whatever. That’s their issue. They’re setting that bar and then mad at other, looking down at other people who aren’t meeting that standard. They’re avoiding their own stuff.
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You know, none of them looked particularly healthy either. you know, it’s like you can justify the fast food. You can justify not working out when you have to do the other things. And I mean, we’re all just doing the best we can to cope. And some of us cope by overdoing it so that we don’t have time for ourselves because the underlying message is it doesn’t really matter what I do. It’s too much to do and I can’t and it’s never going to work.
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And so we give up and we go do something that makes us feel better. Yeah. Cause it’s a quick fix. When you go out and take your kids a bunch of cupcakes to the class and everybody loves you and they’re all excited. You feel good. You get a boost and it’s a lot quicker and easier than starting a wellness program. All right. Well, I mean, do like quick guides for metabolism.
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Like, so what do you have to offer for somebody who’s like, all right, I’m ready. Um, you know, is it physical stuff? Is it mental health stuff? Like, where do you start with people and how do you begin to rev up your metabolism? Yeah. Well, it’s a combination of both. So I’m 53, I’m post menopausal and I know what it’s like to sort of be on the struggle bus with
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Oh my goodness, my body’s changing, my metabolism is slowing down, I’m losing muscle mass. And there are physical things you can do like eating more protein, like strength training. And there are also definitely emotional things you can do, which is a lot of what we’ve been talking about today. And I think that’s the beautiful thing about this midlife.
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pre and post menopausal period of time. And this is a gift that was given to me through my cancer journey is, and it happened right at that. was 47 when I was diagnosed and it took about two years to finish all the treatments and everything. And then all of sudden I’m post menopausal and looking at 50 and it really causes you to look at how am I living?
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Am I happy? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? And it could be career, could be relationship, it could just be your relationship with yourself or your health. And if it’s not, when, when am I going to do this? Like if not now, when is it traveling? You know, is it writing a book? Is it finally getting in shape? And also you’re looking at aging, you’re looking at facing
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diseases, know, lifestyle related issues. And it can be a beautiful time to really start going inward and really thinking about how am I affecting my life now versus what can I do to have the second half look the way I want it to and to have this good relationship with my body and good relationship with myself.
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and also physically feel good. So it’s releasing that emotional and physical weight because we want to age well. We want to feel good. We want to be mobile and to be able to do things that we love, hiking or biking or playing with kids or grandkids or whatever that looks like for you. And so it becomes this beautiful time in our lives that
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it sort of gives you that motivation. Like, I know I need to make changes, if not now, when? Yeah. Yeah. And then also, I think some of it is like, just deciding like how you want to be and show up. I was talking to myself this morning, telling myself, you look so cute. And I’m so like, let’s put a dress on your cute self today. And I try to look at myself from the view of
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me being 90 and then looking at my 50, I’m 51 and looking at myself and being like, you’re not ever going to be any cuter and younger. And also seeing myself outside of my age, you know, and to me, it’s about giving yourself permission to feel good, but you have to be willing to let go of all the fake things anyway. Like you look how you look period. Like
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you get to decide if you’re enjoying being in your body or if you’re like, just going to be real. Like I caught myself last summer. I wasn’t putting on shorts and it’s like 90 degrees outside because my legs are getting a little wrinkly. And it was like such a subconscious process. I just noticed one day I was sweating my ass off and I’m like, why? And it’s because I’m wearing pants and it’s fricking hot. And I was like, Oh,
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Oh no, no, no, no, we are not going to make Colleen sweat because somebody might look at her legs and guess that she’s over 50. Like it’s fine. You know, and just letting go of things you can’t control and choosing to be free and happy. Like that is a choice. Yes, there’s a lot of work that you need to do to release emotional habits, but I think it begins with how do you want to feel in the second half of your life? Old and frumpy or?
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pretty damn good for your age. I don’t know. I think that it’s a choice. Yeah. I’m so fortunate because I have a lot of really amazing female role models in my family. My mom is 81 and she has a great circle of friends. She goes out and does whatever the hell she wants to do. She walks every day. She takes care of herself physically, but she also
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has a lot of meaningful connections, a lot of things she does for fun and a lot of not giving a shit about what people think about her, what she’s wearing, what she looks like, you know, all of those things. And it’s so freeing. I mean, I won’t say I’ve completely let that go. Okay. I’m, I’m a work in progress. I still care. still care. My mom does the same thing. She’s in her mid seventies and she’ll be like, you just need to let all that go. I’m like,
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You should shut up because you had two face lips in your fifties. All right. Like let me do me. I’ll, I’ll look 70 when I’m 70, but like, you know, I think we can, I think, I also think it’s okay to like do our best, but also with a little bit of like just loose, loosely attached, you know, I think it’s fine to wear makeup and it’s fun. I like doing things like that. Not everybody does, but I just, I, I don’t think you have to let it go completely. You can.
41:15
No, in no way does that mean you let it all go. Because we enjoy looking nice. If you love makeup, why would you give that up? It’s something you love. If you love exercise and you like the way it makes you look, great. Animals in nature care. Birds fluff up their feathers. They decorate their nests.
41:44
We naturally want to look good and there is no shame in that. There’s no shame in wanting to lose weight so that you like what you look in the mirror. It’s not about not giving a shit at all about the way that you look. But it is things like, I’m going to wear shorts when it’s hot out and I don’t care if I have some cellulite showing.
42:11
You know, I don’t care if somebody is going to pick me apart on Instagram and say, you’re too XYZ. It’s letting go of really what everybody thinks about you and living for that instead of living for yourself. Yeah. You know, I want to do facials and wear makeup and get my nails done. I enjoy it. I like it. It makes me feel happy and I like feeling like I look good.
42:40
There’s no shame. So not caring what everybody thinks doesn’t have to look like, oh, I’m just going to throw on an old ratty t-shirt every day. I think it speaks more to caring more about how things feel than how things look, whether it’s to other people. I mean, your thoughts about other people’s thoughts are still your thoughts. I think people don’t really realize that, but what you think other people think, still your thinks in there. But I think for me, I have
43:08
really leveled up in my happiness when I started caring more about how things feel. And that goes to setting boundaries. You it’s not just about the way I feel in my clothes, but just in general, you know, saying yes to something because it looks good to other people, again, because I think that they think that I think that they think. I value very much my own experience of things. And to me, that’s a pretty good guidepost.
43:38
Absolutely. I love that. I agree with that 100%. It’s not living for everyone else. It’s not living for what other people are going to think about you, of thinking you have to achieve X, Y, Z or look like whatever in order for people to like you. And you, you switch that by liking yourself.
44:03
Yes. You switch that by liking yourself because then you’re no longer constantly reaching for that and needing that outward validation. And then if you want to wear shorts because you feel comfortable in them, you’ll wear shorts. Yeah. Yeah. And you’ll take the vacation. You’ll wear the bathing suit. You won’t be ashamed to be in pictures with your children.
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whatever it is, you’re no longer just doing everything that you do to impress or please other people. Well, tell us where we can find more about you. Where are you on socials and anything else? Yes. So my website is sarahosswellness.com and Hoss is 2A is 1S.
44:57
And you can also find me across social media under Sarah Haas Wellness. And I also have a podcast called Boss Body. Nice. Boss Body. I love it. All right. Well, I will put a link to all of that in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here and a good conversation. Thank you. I appreciate it so much, Colleen. It was my pleasure.
45:23
All right, so that’s it for this week’s episode. I put all of Sarah’s information into the show notes. And if you’ve been listening today and realizing that your relationship with yourself feels a lot off, like the voice in your head is way more critical than kind, please hear me. That’s not just making it hard for you to love your body. It’s also keeping you stuck in your drinking habit. Because when you’re carrying around constant self judgment,
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You’re going to reach for anything, wine, food, scrolling on your phone, whatever works to take the edge off. And then of course, the voice in your head uses that as more proof that you’re failing. It’s a vicious cycle. But here’s the good news. You don’t have to fight your way out of it. You just need the right tools and the right support and a new way of relating to yourself so that you actually want to take care of yourself. And that’s exactly what we do in my coaching program.
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So if you are ready to quiet the self-criticism so you can feel more at home in your body and finally feel in control of your drinking, click the link in the show notes right now and book your free discovery call. It is literally a free hour of coaching with no strings attached. You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of where you’re at, where you wanna be, and what steps you need to take to get there. And...
46:46
If you loved today’s conversation with Sarah, please take the time to either leave me a review or share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. And just so you know, I’m so happy you’re here. Thank you so much for listening. I am rooting for you. I love you. Now go have a kick ass week and I’ll see you on the next episode.