Episode 243: How to feel like the best version of you even when you make a mistake
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If you’ve been trying to change so that you can feel ready and healed, better, and in control, this episode will explain how it’s possible to feel those things now, before you’ve figured everything out. I’m going to walk you through how to access your higher self, not as a future fantasy or as someone you’ll be someday when you get everything right, but as a real time frequency shift.
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that is grounded in neuroscience and nervous system regulation and the principles of manifestation. I’ll explain why your higher self isn’t somebody you become. It’s someone you tune into and how to use quantum physics to attract positive thoughts and feelings that alter your current reality. You’ll learn the role your subconscious mind plays in your brainwave states
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and how to create vibrational coherence between your heart and brain. And then I’ll give you a simple daily practice that uses your breath, your current emotions, and intention so that you can align your internal frequency with a higher vibrational state. This episode is gonna blend science and soul. You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to reprogram your internal signal
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so that your reality reflects who you already are, not who you’re trying to become.
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My name is Colleen and I’m a mindful drinking coach helping high achieving professional women permanently reduce their alcohol consumption by 80%. Join me each week for evidence based holistic strategies to regulate your nervous system, balance your dopamine and activate the growth mindset that makes you so powerful in other areas of your life so you can stop worrying about losing control and trust yourself again. Get happy, not sober, it’s not about the alcohol.
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want to talk about your higher self. And I want to clearly explain how I see the higher self and how quantum physics sees the higher self. There is a version of you who already knows what to do next, who is already okay. This is the confident, powerful version of you who’s perfectly capable of overcoming your challenges, breaking bad habits and creating the life that you want. And
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This version of you doesn’t exist in the future. She’s not waiting for you to heal your trauma or master your morning routine or get your drinking habit perfect. And also always meal prep, always work out, always say the right thing and stay measured and controlled in all chaotic circumstances. There is a version of you who exists right now, not if and when.
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someday you get everything right. You get to be her. You already are her. You just have to learn how to tune in to her. She already exists. And the only thing separating you from her is your distorted thoughts, your emotional signature, your dysregulated nervous system. Your higher self is a vibrational frequency, not a perfected personality. So the path
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to her is not to work harder to become her, to prove that you are her, but to simply match her frequency. Your brain is not just a thinker of all the thoughts and all the thoughts live inside you, right? We already know 95 % of the thoughts that you think are the same thoughts you thought yesterday. It’s a script. It’s a code that’s running in your subconscious program. It’s your memories.
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who you think you are and what’s happened to you and all of the things in the past. Remember, your memories are encoded in emotion in your body and your body is your subconscious mind. So your subconscious code is just everything that’s ever happened to you and what you made it mean and the story you told yourself about it encoded into your body. But that is not the only source of your thoughts.
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Your body is not the source of new ideas. Insight and inspiration and creativity do not come from your body. And I don’t want to go too deep into where they come from, but according to quantum physics, there is a field of intelligence all around us. There is information. There is an infinite amount of information that exists in the quantum field. And you get
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access to the quantum field according to what frequency you tune into. Your brain is like a radio receiver and whatever frequency you’re existing in emotionally determines the quality of information that you have access to in your brain. So what blocks you from high quality information from your higher self is not
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that it doesn’t exist. Again, it’s the distortion of your thoughts. It’s the subconscious programming that is jamming your channels and creating chaos in your body and your mind and blocking you from clarity and confidence and power and peace. The evidence of this is that you’re feeling stuck, that you’re always second guessing and overthinking problems.
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you feel like you don’t have access to your own intuition. You feel like you can’t trust yourself or the things that you know. And that’s not because you’re broken. It’s just because you haven’t yet learned how to match the frequency of your higher self. And that’s what I want to try to explain in this episode is that you can stop chasing and brute forcing your way into change.
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The key is not to go out there to fix all the things, but to go inside and settle. Your higher self isn’t someone you chase. She’s not up living on a mountaintop waiting for you to climb up there. She doesn’t need you to heal anything in order for her to exist. She just needs you to learn how to tune into her, connect with her signal. When you do this, your thoughts naturally stabilize. Your energy becomes
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magnetic to the beauty and joy and happiness and abundance and creativity and clarity and power that you want. All of the opportunities and ideas just begin to appear to you. They were always there. You just couldn’t see them because again, your signals are jammed and there’s a bunch of mud on your windshield and your wipers can’t keep up. You need to understand that your mind
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is a tool, it’s a receiver that you have to learn how to use. Your brain is a receiver of information and the information that it receives is amplifying whatever frequency your body is tuned into. And if you are constantly tuned into doubt and fear and shame and guilt, then you are tuning in to the wrong frequency. Your brain is focused on the wrong information.
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And this is changeable, but the way forward isn’t force and effort and willpower. The way forward is learning how to shift your brainwave states, calm your nervous system, open your heart field so that you can transmit an emotional frequency that attracts more of what you want, how you want to feel what you want to see. But you know, the cliche, you have to become.
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the change you want to see. And that is a dropping in. That is a letting go. Most of us have been trying to think our way and do our way into becoming our higher self. But the higher self doesn’t speak in logic. She speaks in coherence. This is why intuitive downloads happen in the shower or when you’re walking in nature or you’re in a deeply relaxed state, like right before you fall asleep.
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in between wakefulness and unconsciousness. These are when the good ideas pop into your head. You don’t force these moments. You just drop into an alignment with higher levels of consciousness. And that stream is always available. You can learn how to stay tuned into it. And you can start right now, not by thinking, but by tuning in.
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and understanding that this is not a one and done. It’s not a one time shift. It’s a daily alignment where you are prioritizing the state of your nervous system, the quality of your experience inside your body. And I’m going to try to explain how to do this. But for now, what I want you to start with is just deepen your breath. Even as you’re listening, notice where you’ve brought intention or tightness or intensity and just soften.
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You know, ask yourself, what do I need to stop thinking about? What’s running in the background, even as you’re listening to my voice? You’re not completely dialed in. How can you get deeper dialed in to what I’m saying? What sensations would you like to allow right now in your body? These aren’t just emotional questions. They’re literally the energetic calibrations. You just have to stop thinking things like, I’ll feel better when.
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Or as soon as I finished listening to this and then I go do some things and then I’ll change like, no, this isn’t something you’re gonna do. This is someone you can be right now. It’s not a wiser version of your personality that is only gonna emerge when you’ve finished listening and read all the books and healed enough trauma. Your higher self is fundamentally an energetic field. It’s a layer of consciousness that already exists within you and around you.
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The only question is, are you tuned into the signal or are you tuned into the noise coming from your subconscious? You know, again, the brain is not the generator of your consciousness. It’s just the receiver. It’s receiving coming from the body and then it’s receiving coming from the quantum field. And you get to decide what you’re paying attention to, what you’re listening to. Think of your consciousness as a layered spectrum.
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OK, at the bottom are dense reactive states. It’s the scarcity thinking, the all or nothing mindset, the fear and the perception of failure. These frequencies are biologically real. And when you live in them long enough, you start thinking that that is who you are. Your brain has become wired for them. Your nervous system is shaped by them. Your choices reinforce them. And then reality mirrors back your frequency.
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Remember, your frequency, your energy is just whatever you frequently see. It’s where you’ve got your focus pointed. You have to realize that you have the ability to shift that focus. Imagine that there are two radios on either side of you. One is playing static, and the other is broadcasting your favorite song. You can’t pay attention to both at once. This is a physical mechanism.
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You can shift and listen to the static and let it annoy you and bother you and interrupt, you know, your favorite song, or you can tune in completely to your favorite song and tune out the static and the chaos coming from the other direction. Higher up on the spectrum exists a completely different bandwidth and frequency of trust and love and abundance and peace and power. It isn’t about pretending everything is perfect.
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It’s about being able to see yourself and life through a wider lens, the lens of presence. You don’t have to become worthy of being your higher self. You just have to stop tuning in to the distortion of the lower selves. You have to become like an antenna that’s tuned into the quantum field, the field of possibility, where every possible version and every possible outcome
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is available to you and you don’t have to figure anything out. You just have to tune in and not waiver, not question your ability to always be present, always be stable, always be vibrating at a higher frequency. That that’s all the higher self is a higher frequency. It’s not something above you or beyond you. It is something you just tune into by deepening your breath.
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softening your grip on your thoughts, settling into your nervous system so that you can begin to receive the signal that contains the guidance that you are seeking. This isn’t mystical, my friends. It’s something you can learn. You can train and strengthen and stabilize your access points to your higher self. You have to learn how to be coherent.
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Coherence is an actual physiological state. There’s a lot of research in the HeartMath Institute that shows that when your brain and body are coherent, your intuition increases. Your perception expands. Your brain becomes more receptive to insight. Again, this is not coincidence. This is coherence, mind-body alignment. And the more you prioritize and value and practice coherence,
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the more you encode your biology, you reprogram your subconscious mind to the frequency of your higher self. Neuroscience shows that when your brain is in the alpha and theta wave states, like you can access with meditation and breath work and deep presence and focus, when your brain is in those states, it becomes more tuned to the subtle information so that
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You’re no longer reacting to what’s coming at you. You’re no longer going into the chaos to look for your answers. You just attune to the clarity in the calm. And where most of us get it wrong is we try to meditate and tune in with such intensity and ferocity and graspiness. And so we come into it from a place of desperation. We speak our positive affirmations, but they’re still tuned in to fear.
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which sends mixed signals into the quantum field because the quantum field doesn’t respond to your words. It doesn’t give you what you want. It reflects where you already are. It responds to your energy, to how coherent or distorted you are. So what your highest priority has to become is frequency hygiene, emotional discipline,
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so that you are vibrationally aware of yourself. You notice when you slip out of alignment, and then you choose to return. And the moment you return, even briefly, the field will respond to you, not with fireworks and instant miracles, but with subtle, intelligent shifts and release of tension or just a chance encounter, something you hadn’t noticed or seen before. These are the signatures of vibrational alignment.
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This is how your higher self speaks to you, not in loud commands, but in quiet coherence. So how do you do this in your daily life? How do you stabilize the connection to your higher self? So it’s not something that you just are hoping and dreaming to achieve one day, but it actually becomes a lived experience that shapes your thoughts and your actions and your outcome. It’s pretty simple. There are
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three elements to it. There’s your breath, there’s your emotion, and there’s your intention. The rhythm of your breath reflects the rhythm of your nervous system. Your nervous system is your antenna through which you receive higher information. So when your breath is short, shallow, and erratic, your body is in a state of incoherence, often survival mode. But when your breath becomes slow, you begin to signal to your entire
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body, your entire system, I am able to receive better information. And that shift alone also changes your brainwaves, moving you more into alpha and even theta waves. This is the doorway to your intuitive guidance and your creative insight. Then you have to pay attention to your emotion, the energetic state of your being. This is why I say you can’t think your way out of a thinking problem because the
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quantum field, your vibration, it’s emotional. It’s the emotional charge behind your thoughts. Thoughts without feeling lack the magnetism that attracts more of the feelings that you’re feeling. The only way to access your higher self is to generate the emotional frequency of your higher self, not from a grasping, I’ll be okay when, if, and after, but from a
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Being an elevated state that already exists Your emotions are not rewards that you get after doing it, right? They are the signals that you drop into that Activates the version of you that you are calling in even if it’s artificially at first you can still begin to Encode your body at a higher frequency just by thinking thoughts like what would my higher self feel like right now in this exact situation?
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Would she be feeling urgent? Would she be doubting the process or would she be relaxing into it? Would she be trusting her inner resonance? The emotional tone of your higher self is like your compass. It pulls you in the direction that you are feeling. And every time you stop and align your emotions in your current moment with the emotions that you want to exist in, then you become the change that you’re wanting to see.
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It’s that fast, it’s that quick, and it’s that simple, although I won’t tell you it’s easy, which is why the third thing that you need is intention. Intention is not the same as a goal. It’s not trying to force the outcome. Intention is choosing what frequency you wish to hold, no matter what circumstances are present. When you set an intention from the heart, you’re not declaring a demand.
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you are setting a vibrational trajectory. Again, it’s like dialing into a frequency on the radio. And when you shift your frequency, because you intend to be OK right now, you intend to give yourself permission to feel good as you are now in the present moment, then the quantum field begins to arrange people and events and insights that reflect the new frequency.
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Remember your frequency is just whatever you frequently see. So you have to start seeing yourself the version of you who already lives in clarity and you don’t need to visualize all the details. Just focus on the feeling. What does it feel like to trust myself fully today? And then let that feeling expand. Your intention needs to be in the present, not in the future tense. I embody clarity.
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And you’ve got to feel that as your truth. Even if your mind resists, just sit in silence for even 60 seconds. This is simple alignment, breath, deep, emotion, positive, intention, clarity. This is how you calibrate your field. This doesn’t fix your life. It shifts the version of you who is more capable of responding to your life. And in the quantum field, that’s the only change that matters.
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This is the observer principle in quantum physics. When you change the observer, what is being observed changes. That’s where your power lies, to change what you see by first changing how you feel. Because your frequency is simply a mirror. It’s what you frequently see. And the last thing I’ll mention is the doubt.
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the subconscious unconscious mental scripts that contradict your higher self. The ones that say internally, what if this doesn’t work? I’m going to set an intention, but I don’t really trust it. And the field is intelligent. You’re not going to slip the doubt by. You can’t fake it till you make it on this. You have to commit and go all in to changing those internal scripts that are pulling you out of your frequency of your higher self.
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And I want to be clear that your thoughts don’t have to sound overtly negative to pull you out of coherence. They just don’t align. You know, if you’re saying, live in abundance, but all you’re doing all day is calculating the money in your bank account and mental math on how much you’re spending or how much you’re going to have at a certain time. Those mental habits do not correspond with the frequency of abundance. If you are willing to trust
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that becoming the version of you who doesn’t need to drink her face off, and then you’re still calculating how much you’re gonna drink or how much you did drink, that doesn’t align with the clarity and confidence and power of your higher self who wouldn’t need to be thinking about all of that. So you have to stop broadcasting from the identity that you’re trying to leave behind. It’s not about fighting every thought, it’s simply by replacing the old code.
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because your subconscious doesn’t understand complex arguments. You don’t have to think your way out of this one. It doesn’t need full paragraphs in a PhD dissertation. Your subconscious responds to repetition and rhythm and emotion. It responds to frequency, which means your job is not to debate the old story. Your job is to replace it with a new signal, a story that is aligned with your higher self.
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bringing this to a close, I want you to identify one of your unconscious beliefs that loops in your inner world. It’s gonna start with, I’m not, or I can’t, or what if this doesn’t work? And then ask yourself what the vibrational opposite of that belief would be. If the old loop is, I’m not ready, then the new signal would be, I’m available to be here now, I am present. If the old loop is, I can’t handle this,
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The new signal becomes, I am taking one step at a time. If the old code is telling you, what if this doesn’t work? The new code is, I’m open to seeing how this is already working. I’m gonna look for evidence that this is already happening. And then speak your new code aloud, out of your mouth, but don’t say it just from your throat. Say it from your field. Say it from your breath. Say it with emotion.
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until your nervous system begins to relax. Remember, you don’t need to argue with your brain. Your subconscious responds to repetition and rhythm and emotion. So speak your truth in a way that you can become vibrationally familiar with it. Practice it even when you don’t feel it. Your body’s listening to everything you say. So this is a numbers game. Start speaking your truth from your breath, from your energy field.
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This is how you install a new operating system. This is the art of reprogramming. You’re not affirming a fantasy, you’re transmitting a frequency and you need to take that seriously so that it can become your baseline. Because the moment your baseline shifts, every time you shift, your reality will start to respond to the new signal. Not as a reward, because you’re doing it right.
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but simply as a reflection of who you are. And I want to just leave you with one of the things I’ve been doing with reprogramming. heard this on a YouTube video, and that is speaking the words out loud. I am reprogramming. I am reprogramming. Claim it. Own it. Say it. I am reprogramming. Speak the truth. Abracadabra.
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I create as I speak, are creating your reality when you speak your reality. So speak the truth that you want to be embodying. I am reprogramming. I am no longer participating in the old reality. I am aligning with my higher self. I am collapsing the version of me that aligned with limitation and I am transmitting a new blueprint, not because I need life to change.
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but because I want to align with my higher self. Say it out loud. Let your body hear it. Let the field feel it. This phrase isn’t magic. Every time you say it from the right emotional state, you are simply broadcasting that signal into the quantum field so that you can begin to attract more of who you already are. All right, my friends. So if this episode lit something up and you touched
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a deeper level of knowing that you want to pursue. If you were touched by something I said, like a brief glimpse of a ray of sunshine that penetrates the dark clouds on a rainy day, then get into the show notes and click the link to apply for a discovery call, because this is the kind of work we do in my program. It’s really not about the alcohol. I can teach you the neuroscience.
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that governs the principles of manifestation. I can teach you how to rewire your nervous system and retrain your thought patterns so that you can restore your relationship with yourself so that alcohol stops being the solution because it stops being the damn problem. You’re not broken. You’re in there. You’re the one listening to this episode right now.
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The only problem you have is that your mind changes every time your mood changes and you don’t know how to control that because you’re so focused on controlling your behavior as a way of managing your emotions that the tail’s wagging the dog. I can teach you how to control your emotions so that your behavior becomes a natural side effect of who you are. So if you’re ready for the kind of change that lasts because
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the change is in your identity, not just your behavior, then it’s time to take it to the next level. It’s time to dive head first into these principles, into the science, and into a social network of coaching and content and community with a group of like-minded women who share the same goals, to stop talking about the damn alcohol and move into what really matters.
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about who you are and what you want and how to get it. Because the version of you who doesn’t have to worry about your drinking, she already exists. You just have to learn the skills that allows you to operate on her level, to think and to feel and to respond to life from a higher vibrational frequency. And I’m not gonna bullshit you, it’s not simple, it doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not easy. My program is only for women.
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who don’t give up when it gets hard and who are ready to see this through because they know that they’re not the type of person who gives up when the going gets hard. They’re not quitters and they know that they deserve a life that reflects that. So if that’s something you’re even interested in knowing more about, talking to somebody, maybe you’ve never talked to somebody about what you’re going through. I can tell you, I’ve been there and I remember how freeing it was.
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to have a conversation with somebody who gets it, who understands, and who actually can help. My discovery calls are not high pressure sales at all. We don’t even invite everybody into the program who applies because I do guarantee the results. And so if you’re coming in the program, I gotta make sure you’re a safe bet. It’s a two-way street. But either way, the call might just be.
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the moment that your life changes. It might be that sliding door moment where you see something that you haven’t seen before. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. So if I’m talking to you, get into the show notes right now, just take a single action and book the call. And then we’ll take it from there and we’ll see if we’re a good fit. Otherwise, I thank you so much for listening. I so appreciate you being a part of my community. Doing this show, doing this work is why I get up in the morning.
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and it makes me happy to know that you are listening. So I appreciate you and I will see you on the next episode and until then, go be the best badass version of yourself.